help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
