Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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