i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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