you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
