It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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