I just made out with a guy for $7.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
