i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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