Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
