first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
