After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize