just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and she was petting her beer can
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
