i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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