Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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