I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize