she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
