I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
