It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
