if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
