And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't turn off my feet"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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