Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
