Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

Duck Duck Cougar?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?

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(678): View more from Georgia

Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.

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(480): View more from Arizona

There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Let's get the cat blown out

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(503): View more from Oregon

I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.

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