Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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