dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
