That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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