I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
