Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
