I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
