I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
