Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
