508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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