Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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