I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize