The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
