even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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