Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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