I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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