That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
