DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
