Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We need to rekindle our bromance
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
