Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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