He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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