well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
