I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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