found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
