One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize