Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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