He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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