I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
