omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
