Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
