his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
