you guys were way drunker than both of me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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