You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
