You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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