Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
