i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Panties = found
Randomize
