...so i touched it.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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