So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
