hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
