Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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