i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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