I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
