It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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