cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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