the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
